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| This is the proper Social Media Burn Book |
Everyday, our feeds on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are flooded with
the same old crap. Girls are going crazy taking pictures of EVERYTHING
throughout their days, and subjecting their friends to this garbage on
all the social media sites. These following 20 pictures are the most
commonly posted, and the reason Zuckerberg gave us an 'unfriend' button, bless his heart!
20. Sunset
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Thank you. I have never seen one before. Unless you live in Alaska or Siberia, leave it off my feed. |
19. Legs at the beach
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Your glistening legs look so hot… oh wait that's only because you did the Lo-Fi filter. Thanks for keeping it to just your kneecaps though because if that was all you were willing to show, we probably didn't want to see the rest. |
18. Alcohol
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LOOK HOW MUCH FUN IM HAVING AND IM SO COOL BECAUSE IM DRINKING ALCOHOL!" I'm going to assume your stupid hashtags underneath are #beerthirty #fiveoclocksomewhere #sexonthebeach. |
17. Pet
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Basically what you're admitting to the world with your hundreds of pictures of your cats and dogs, is that, you're single…. or you're jealous of your friends with children and this is the only way you know how to compete. A couple now and then is fine, but 3 a day? Bet you're watching Young & the Restless too.P.S. your pet doesn't like it!! so Stop the animal cruelty. |
16.Off-spring
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Congratulations, you can reproduce. I'm not interested in the cake your child smashed, their first bowel movement, or their first steps, because you know why…. it's not my child. With everything being documented on the internet these days, leave your child off of it. There are enough people looking into our business, don't voluntarily give it to them. |
15. Outfit for the day or morning or afternoon or evening...whatever
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I just don't know if I would get any sleep if Alison didn't post her "outfit of the day" EVERYDAY! It is comical to make fun of all the fashion mistakes you're making though. |
14. Selfies
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The worst of the worst of the worst. Stop. Stop now. Isn't this what your profile picture is for? I don't need to see you throwing up a peace sign, a smoochy face, or pushing your boobs together (even though you didn't really mean to, it just happened!) You know how to criticize when you see someone else's selfie? Ya, thats what we're doing to yours. |
13. Text Conversation
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If it's not a picture, don't post it. You're either trying to prove how happy your relationship is (which means it's probably pretty shitty) when we see your text from him that says "I love you baby you're gorgeous!", or you're trying to show us the hilarious conversation you just had with your bestie. Haha, so funny. |
12. Plane wings
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Ohhhh so when you checked in at JFK an hour ago, I thought that meant you were running to Miami. Thank god the plane wings cleared that confusion right up. |
11. Clouds
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What are these giant cotton balls? Am I dreaming? Oh wait, its those things I see every day of my life. They may never appear again, thanks for documenting it. Oh and that double rainbow too. |
10. Mirror Selfie
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Where to begin. I'm so cute holding up my Hello Kitty iPhone case and looking at the phone instead of into the mirror because I'm actually embarrassed I'm doing this in the first place. More often than not, the subject in the picture is looking at themselves on the phone. What the Frankenweenie? |
9. Nail art
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Fresh mani! Don't my Minions from Despicable Me look ravishing in nail lacquer? I'm also 30 years old, maybe not mentally though. |
8. Feet in the sand
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What a pensive shot. My friends and I make a friendship circle. with our feet. Maybe this truly replicates the meaning of our friendship, something to trample on.I am super jealous of you guys. |
7. Fortune Cookie
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Unless it says "You are an attention whore", I'm not interested in your cracked cookie. |
6. Coffee Art
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Someone spent an intricate amount of time making this design, which is going to be ruined in 5 seconds. Thanks for capturing it. By the way, The barista is laughing at you while your holding your camera up to the mug. |
5. Fireworks
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Celebrate! Celebrate your complete lack for creativity and skills in photography. |
4. Holding hands
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Please believe how happy we are! Is that a promise ring? That's probably all it'll ever be. |
3. Attempt at applying Make up
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Why? To see your pathetic attempt at doing your eye shadow and eyeliner? What a turn on for a guy, seeing this girl he knows having a striking resemblance to that creepy dead girl from the Grudge. |
2. Driving Selfie
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Let's start a new campaign to join "It can wait", and we'll call it "It should never happen". It's terrifying to know girls are taking these pictures while their driving. I'd prefer a text message then you fumbling trying to make sure you hit the camera button. |
1. Food: Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, Midnight snack or snack
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Oh wow! you eat food too...what a shocker! I really thought I was the only being who used my digestive system. Word of advice the junk you're about to eat is contributing to your unknown failing health and lack of intelligence. #justsaying |
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